You
Are Not Alone
January 24, 2012
Does it seem to you that the Earth is spinning faster
and that time is flying by faster than you can keep up? Do others seem to have
a path they are following and don’t feel the pressure that you feel just to
keep up?
Welcome to my world of Attention Deficit Disorder
also known as A.D.D. This is a blog that shares the viewpoints, frustrations
and affirmations of an over-fifty woman who struggled undiagnosed through life
until I fifty plus.
Finally diagnosed, I learned why I had audio
problems, visual perception problems and the general inability to focus on one
task until completion. A.D.D. was like a beast living in the shadows of my
mind. It was as though every time I attempted a project, a creature would roar its
intimidating head and block all efforts. Finally diagnosed, I could name the
beast, understand the beast and fight the beast.
As is so often the case, I carried more than one
beast. I don’t remember when I wasn’t plagued with depression. In fact, once I
became Prosac-ed and then Effexor-ed, I was eager to find out what else needed
to be fixed. Although life immediately improved and I felt exhilarated with
hope for the future, it was another decade before I realized my other problems
were A.D.D. induced.
Thanks to medication, I learned to focus long enough
to complete tasks. Whether duty-bound jobs like housekeeping or art-oriented
jobs like composing and writing, I reached a content part of my life where my
brain is functional and capable.
I’ve also learned to deal with some of the other
problems that plague A.D.D. ers like auditory problems. I still need to figure
out what people are saying on a physical level. Confusing sounds like M’s and
N’s or P’s and B’s still cause problems for me. In other words, I need to
decipher what is being said on an auditory level before I can respond
appropriately. I guess that makes me appear a bit slow or ditzy but it is what
it is. For example, I can forget going to a restaurant and trying to listen to
the person seated next to me. I can’t decipher what they are saying if the
restaurant has any level of noise. Oddly however, I’ll hear someone talking on
the other side of the room. So, if you want to talk to me, I’ll need to be in a
quiet environment so I can really “hear” what you are saying.
Another problem is my visual perception. Take my
brief stint at learning to golf. Hey, I could smack a ball no problem but I
couldn’t follow the ball afterward in the air or see where it landed. Again, I
was the only member in the group with this problem. Medication has not helped
with the auditory or visual problems and so I still don’t feel “normal.”
What artist is normal anyway? Artists create whether
on canvas, sculpture, music or the crafting of words; we are a different breed
working outside the box more often than not. It’s a good thing although I’ve
run into a few non-creators who find me “odd” or “weird.” I’ve met even fewer
who used my “handicaps” against me. For the most part, I’m fortunate to have
met many very successful people mostly in my music career, who appreciate
creative abilities and wished they possessed more creativity themselves.
I can’t talk about those who may have A.D.D. and
aren’t creative. They have their own story and their own set of problems. I
give them my empathy, compassion and respect for the struggle. Creative or not,
I urge anyone that can relate to the ‘deficits’ described above to get tested
at any age. Name your beast and use the information highway to find out what
you can do about it if you can’t afford a doctor, psychologist or psychiatrist.
Hiding your flaws from the world takes a lot of energy. I wasted too much time
not getting to know people on a deeper level because of my ‘problems.’ Now, I’m
different but accepting that it is what it is. I’m stepping out to shout that you
can have a happier life and tackle the problems sent your way without
succumbing to them. You can find your niche. You can contribute to this world.
This blog will showcase your responses (for better or
worse) to my viewpoints, my experiences, my thoughts, regarding the “things of
this world” as it is to date. I will provide links for A.D.D. (both mine and
yours) and for some of my passions like the problem of human trafficking, how
to stop animal abuse and provide no-kill shelters, politics, religion and the
needs of humanity as a whole.
Whether you are a woman, man, Christian or not, please
join me on this journey of discovery by posting your thoughts. We all have our
crosses to bear, and as we share our viewpoints and information, we join for
positive feedback and learn we are not alone.
